I live in San Francisco, a city that will evoke gasps whenever mentioned. I can guaranteed that when brought up in conversation someone will, without fail, say some version of I just love San Francisco because for some reason its mandatory to adore the City by the Bay, no dissention please. So when I have out of town visitors expectations, and the expectation of friends and family who demand travel tales upon return, are high that the streets are paved with gold, that unicorns not only dance at dawn but all day and on demand and that clove scented milk and farmer coaxed organic honey rains from the sky onto charming, eclectically painted wood frame Victorian homes in the great and glorious city. The point being when people come to San Fran they expect to have a good time or something is very, very wrong.

Enter the future in-laws. I love my future in-laws and we get along great but they live an entirely foreign existence to both mine and any version of the family I grew up with so planning a nine day vacation was a bit of whats known as a challenge. I come from the you have to earn your vista views with a 15 mile vertical hike and pre-dawn whitewater voyage style of travel while Mr. Ps parents are the more traditional checklist of famous places from the car or comfortable walk type travelers. To add to the difficultly level of showing them a good time, theyd been here before so theyd already rode the cable cars, seen the Golden Gate bridge, walked around Chinatown and visited Ghirardelli square, yada, yada, yada. I had to start from the been-there-done-that stage of the game and still make it fun and interesting without the aid of open ocean kayak trips and the grandeur of 30-story descents to windswept whale watching lighthouses. And did I mention they were visiting for nine days?

So the following entries contain the ways in which I spent nine whole days, despite my best intentions, terrorizing my future in-laws with midnight raccoon attacks, unwelcome ghost encounters and a barrage of strange and unusual foods, among other things, in a genuine attempt to show them a good time in whats considered one of the top five cities to visit in America if not the world.

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